old familiar feeling

I am getting that old familiar feeling again. The unexplainable depression that suddenly comes usually on Sunday nights...before work. It's not a good feeling. It's a feeling of anxiety of hoplessness, of anger. I am not sure how to handle this feeling but I don't want it to get the best of me. Part of me strangly enough, wants to stay this way. It's the only emotions I allow myself to know. I sometimes don't even want to fight it because it's so normal to me. I am strange.

On a brighter note, I think, I have decided to let go of the whole raw food thing for now. My relationship with food is all fucked up, I know. I am so tired of fighting with my weight. I need more support. I have decied to take a different approach to food. It's an old ancient approach passed down from generation to generation; I will allow myself to eat whatever I want in moderation. Ha!! Go figure. I hope you weren't looking for some big secret. Anyway, I have decided that there are no bad foods. The only way I am going to conquer my battle with food and weight is to look at food as good and nourishing rather than something evil.

I love food and I want a better relationsp with it.