The Continuing

Friday, June 09, 2006

.....

Well, noting earth shattering has happened lately I my life. I have had a few bouts of depression as usual, but nothing new. Same old problems with hubby, boss, mom….

Actually, my mom is moving permanently to Fla. I thought I was going to be cool with it since our relationship has been somewhat strained in the past 12 years, but I am getting very sad.

I start to remember being a little girl and going everywhere with my mom

Then I start to cry.

I remember a song from years ago that makes me remember being a little girl.

Then I cry some more.

I smell a familiar smell from long ago that brings back memories of….safety or comfort.

Then I just feel nothing but pain emotionally and mentally.

I don’t know why I feel this way all of a sudden. I feel as if I need a break from something. I want to move away for like a year. I wish I could just runaway at times. I would love to just pack up and leave my life. Although I love my husband, I wouldn’t mind a vacation from being “wife”, “provider”, “cook” etc.

Am I crazy for this? Has anyone ever felt this way?

On a better note, I have been taking more pictures. It cheers me up yet calms me down. I have been taking pictures of my old 'hood before my mother leaves. I don't want to go back there. I want to leave the memories behind somehow. I love this picture here. Isn't it soothing to look at.